Before the 2009 MLB season, pitcher AJ Burnett signed an $80 million deal with the New York Yankees after pitching very well for the Toronto Blue Jays and Florida Marlins before that. However, in his career with the Yankees Burnett has posted brutal numbers, racking up a 32-34 record with a 4.72 ERA in 92 games (stats courtesy of BaseballReference.com). Here are a few theories as to why AJ has gone AWOL in New York.
5.) AJ Burnett is Bipolar
Since joining the Yankees Burnett has been a roller coaster on an off the field. In 2010 he showed up to the ballpark with a huge black eye, and then in 2011 in an attempt to reverse his mojo he dyed his hair bleach blonde (looking strikingly similar to Draco Malfoy) only to shave his head before his next start. Watching him on the mound is like watching a tourettes patient go grocery shopping; cool, calm and collected one pitch to flailing around before the next.
4.) Burnett is sleeping with Minka Kelly
Think about this. Burnett’s problems started with the Yankees at around the same time that star captain Derek Jeter started a public relationship with actress Minka Kelly. My theory: AJ has been sleeping around with Minka behind Derek’s back, and the fear of being outed in this scandalous relationship has him going bonkers on the mound. Every pitch he’s looking over his shoulder at the shortstop position, wondering when the day will be where Derek and his army of Yankee purists storm the field and attack Burnett with World Series rings and foam fingers.
3.) Burnett is a Double Agent Working for the Red Sox
In 2008, the race for Burnett came down to the New York Yankees and Boston Red Sox (as so many free agency races do). My theory is that Boston GM Theo Epstein offered AJ Burnett more backdoor money to sign with the Yankees and suddenly implodes as a starting pitcher. Epstein knew that Joe “Binder” Girardi would never take a pitcher out of the rotation who was making so much money. In an effort to defeat the evil empire, Epstein planted Burnett deep inside the Yankees, where he is now being used as sleeper cell taking the Yankees down from the inside. Think I’m crazy? Burnett’s stats against Boston in the last 3 seasons: 1-6 with a 4.70 ERA.
2.) Burnett is Joe Girardi’s Illegitimate Son
AJ Burnett signed with the Yankees in 2009 and pitched well for them on their way to the franchises 27th World Series title. My theory is that after the celebration ended, manager Joe Girardi took AJ aside and informed him that Girardi was his father. The manager did this as a way of taking the weight off his shoulders, hoping that the ecstasy of a World Series ring would erase the years of neglect. Instead, AJ went out in 2010 and 2011 and pitched like a 12-year-old boy who was pissed at his coach/dad. Think about any coach’s son you ever played with; all the talent in the world but when Daddy pisses them off they go bananas. This also explains why Girardi has been so adamant about leaving AJ in the rotation with a starting job.
1.) AJ Burnett is Just Not That Good
Na, nothing is ever that simple in sports.
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